The devotional life

By Sally Wallace

I am talking today about prayer, and I wonder if you can think back over the time you have been in relationship with God to a really good time of regular prayer or conversation with him. What happened after that time? Did it drift and stop, or keep going? Or did something come along to make it stop? And how did you feel about that?

Perhaps guilt or fear of what God would do if we do not pray enough!

Today I want to tell you part of my story and illustrate the themes that I have found – that both freedom and discipline are important in prayer.

Prayer is something of a journey to many Christians. I am certainly on that journey– where I discover more of God, and hopefully become more like him, and see him change people and situations along the way. Having people alongside you on the journey of prayer is very helpful but I also want to reflect that it has sometimes been easy for me to rely too much on others and on the church, rather than pray on my own

Your journey will be different, and what I hope by doing this talk you maybe take stock, have a think about where you are with prayer, and get some ideas for where to move on.

I think it is very important to see prayer as part of all of our lives (the whole day, wherever we are), not to compartmentalise it into one slot (the quiet time). When you are listening to what I am saying you may be thinking – “But I don’t know when I lasted ‘prayed’!” (ie sat down on my own with a Bible, shut the door and talked to God,). I want to try to enlarge your thoughts beyond the mindset of routines that many of us were given on this.

I would like to tell you something of my story.

I became a Christian in my early teens (from a non-Christian family, but through my sister), in the early 80’s and at first was exposed to quite a rigid view of prayer and the daily quiet time.

I learnt the basic elements of a prayer time, followed various set orders and had prayer lists, and was excellent at praying in my room, with the door shut, before breakfast. The pinnacle of this was when I attended the ‘change the world school of prayer’ a course run over several evenings, with a prayer manual, homework and lots of blanks to fill in on worksheets. I dug out the manual the other day (who knows why I kept it!), and found the ‘seven pillars of prayer’, the ‘prayer warriors marching orders’, and the plan for how to devote one hour a day to prayer in neatly 

5 minute timed segments. I remember doing this for a few (probably summer) months.

I think it was useful training in components of prayer, but also heaped on me loads of guilt when I was unable to keep it up, and I realised that the highly structured approach did not fit my lifestyle and personality.

The positives of praying in the morning were that it helped me converse more with God throughout the day, like continuing a conversation you had started already.

I had a routine of praying in the mornings on and off through out my youth and student days, but my pattern was shattered when I got married at 22! Suddenly there was ‘someone else’ in my bedroom in the morning, the place that had just been for me and God, and he didn’t like getting up early to leave me in peace to pray!

Shortly after that junior doctor jobs and night shifts made the routine very erratic!

For years I struggled to find a good place. Sitting room – too public, Study – too messy, spare room – too boring….

I think I was preoccupied by the Christian myth that it is a daily quiet time that is most important thing to get us to heaven and for relationship with God.

Think about an important relationship to you parent, partner, child, friend, work colleague… We do not communicate by just a 10 minute slot scheduled in, (2.05pm) and then not at all for the rest of the day (Communicating in a 10 minute prearranged slot is reserved for someone you do not know very well like the GP.

 The communication in a close relationship is sometimes brief, sometimes at length. A mixture of texts, communication not even verbalised and lengthy time together. The relationship survives and thrives perhaps more if the communication varies in pattern – what is important is that communication happens.

The goal of communication with God is intimacy, to be transformed to be more like him, to worship him, and to extend his kingdom.

When I first had children I was given a book called ‘Patterns not Padlocks ’ about prayer: the unstructured and spontaneous prayer that often has to happen around small children. The book was very helpful. (Particularly on praying when surrounded by mess), but the phase ‘patterns not padlocks’ has stuck with me, as I think about prayer.

The patterns are the routines of time, place, and what we do when we pray.

But even good patterns can tie us down, limit our creativity or be inappropriate in a new situation (like when I had children). Finding new patterns has been important for me. But they need to be patterns that do not tie us down like padlocks.

Remember, God does not put on us prayer as a huge burden or heavy workload, the Bible talks about life with Jesus being free and light.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matt 11:28-30 The Message

This passage in Matthew talks about rhythms of grace (another kind of pattern), our prayer life should not be heavy or ill fitting, but something that frees us.

So Freedom in prayer is important, but so is discipline.

Many of us do not like exercise (which requires discipline), if there was an easier way to get fit and stay the right shape we would put our feet up and avoid it. However once we get going, and find something that suits us (for me it is aerobics classes) we usually enjoy it and certainly find satisfaction from it.

Paul in his letter to Timothy likens our spiritual life to exercise. He asks Timothy to ‘train himself in godliness’ and when he does he uses ‘Gumnaze’ (the greek word) – the same word root that is used in our modern word for gym or gymnasium. I think sometimes prayer does feel like something we have to work at, make the effort to get started with, and wait awhile to get results.

In the message the passage in Timothy sounds like this: ‘Exercise daily in God--no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever’ 1 Tim 4:7

Perhaps we cannot take the parallel of prayer and exercise too far, as prayer does not always give us the endorphin high exercise does. Sometimes it changes our emotions, but other times it does not.

So how do discipline and freedom combine? Can you have both? An interesting question, I think some of us need more discipline, others more freedom, and most of us need more of both!

Jeff Lucas in his book on prayer says we need ‘Discipline to make prayer a priority, but freedom to be me when I’m there’ 

We do need to find a place to pray. By that I do not necessarily mean a physical place, but somewhere to find space for God in our lives.

Here is one of the best pieces of advice about prayer I’ve read:

 

The Matthew passage in the message talks about a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. That is translated more often as ‘go to your room and shut the door’ 

I spoke about how I found a great safety in prayer at a regular time and place as a student, and how loosing it threw me when I got married. I have never really regained such a tightly planned rigid time and place since, in fact these days with children aged 8 and 6 prayer becomes a game of hide and seek (or hide and hopefully not be found)! I have a basket, in which I place Bible, notebook, pencil and whatever other booksI am currently finding most useful, the ipod…and I dash for the quietest place in the house. 

For me a search for a physical place to pray has been something of a struggle to me over the last few years. Feeling safe, to be real with God and knowing that I am not going to be interrupted has become important to me.

However I have also realised that prayer is so much more than ‘the place’ that I crave. I pray in all sorts of places and times, and they are just valid, and as safe.

We do need to find a place to pray. By that I do not necessarily mean a physical place, but somewhere to find space for God in our lives. For some people the physical place may not be at home, it may be in the car, or outside. Others will not need to stop and be still, but pray best on the move.

So Godspace is carving out that personal space so we are free to be intimate with God. And that depends on who we are.

It was very helpful to me to recognise that different people pray in different ways, because of their physical make-up (both temperament and personality). Many of you will have done personality profiles of one kind or another and the insights to how we are wired affect our relationship with God.

The multiple intelligences theory is based on how we learn in different styles, some people relate more to verbal, some spatial others musical, or nature. I think it also relates to how we pray. 

I think my personality is well suited to worshipping whilst moving (the kinaesthetic).

Many of you will have sampled my cooking, which I enjoy doing. I often cook with background music that I or the kids have put on. Usually it is just that, but sometimes the words break much more into my consciousness whilst I am busy, and I realise that the words in the song are relevant to where I am with God at the moment, and I have to stop what I am doing and pray with all of my attention.

So I do often pray throughout the day, without ‘stopping what I am doing’, and I often read the Bible last thing at night. But when I get myself in a tiz about something, or need to hear from God, when I need real wisdom on something I think I do it best undisturbed, with the door shut and the knowledge I wont be disturbed for a while.

I have come up with a load of ideas on this, which I have written here, and in the next week or two look out for it appearing on the church website. You will not fit into just one of these categories, but will find it easier to think in some of these ways than others.

In this modern day it is also completely possible to do all sorts of praying in front of the computer. There is an excellent websites – Bible gateway with all sorts of translations, including being able to hear the NIV read to you. It is possible to load CDs onto the computer for worship. Spiritual journals can be written. There is a Jesuit website with daily meditative prayers, which takes about12 minutes..

If the car is where you pray best then use worship tapes, landmarks, and talk out loud if you like, but also get the Bible on CD or tape, and at the end of your journey you could always take 2 minutes to write down what God is saying to you.

So I have spoken about freedom, and discipline, and a place or space, but what do we say?

The Lords prayer was very simple in its day, and was about direct and immediate access to Gods presence. Praying to God as Father is an intimate relationship, not one mediated by a priest or in a temple, in which we are not allowed to go into the most holy place.

 It says ‘This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply’

However sometimes it feels like there are just as many barriers to get into God’s presence, not put there by the temple but by us!

We need to know how to get started, what helps us slow down the fast pace of life and concentrate on God. There will be huge variation in what is helpful to different people.

I find once I get started then continuing is often not a problem.

Pencil and paper – write about how you feel, what has just happened, what is on your mind. The pencil helps slow your thoughts down, as you can only think as fast as you can write! It helps to straighten out your thoughts and perhaps the pencil and private note book has been the most important aid to prayer I have found. It is also a useful to see what has changed and how we have moved on, as one of the goals of our prayer life is to be transformed by God, and I find I can look back and see how things have changed, and challenge myself if things have not moved on!

The Bible. This is most often where I start. I have a set of different coloured bookmarks, one in the Psalms, one somewhere in the Old Testament and another somewhere in the New Testament. I often start with the Psalms, as a way to help me to be honest before God.

Bible notes – I sometimes use these to get started, but not often enough to remember where I was in them last time I used them. I have used Lucas on life recently, which I enjoy.

Worship songs – the Ipod, worship CD, or words can help us to focus on God. However I find I have to think quite carefully about my choice of song, otherwise I can sink into a fuzzy warm feeling about God, without actually saying much to him. The song is useful if it is saying something of what I want to say to God, helps to take me further to him.

So what if we feel like we are hitting a brick wall when we pray? Or feel down? Or in a black fog?

When we do not know what to pray there is support of the best kind available, the Holy Spirit. It says in Romans that the Holy Spirit is praying for us when we pray.

For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. Romans 8:26

(Imagine relying on feelings entirely for our faith! If we have a fab day, and all goes well we will come to God perhaps thinking isn’t life great, and not even recognising that we need Jesus. On a really bad day we may not even feel we deserve God’s love at all.)

Get someone to pray regularly for you

Get rid of guilt as much as possible from the equation – and read passages from the Bible on God’s grace and forgiveness.

Set small goals such as pray for 3 minutes

You do not have to do every component of prayer – just say what you can to God.

Pray more when active and doing stuff

Pray with others

Read whatever parts of the Bible you find easiest, perhaps story in the Old Testament, Psalms,

Try to stick to Biblical truth rather that feelings, that may not even be yours- for example reading prayers that other people have written and express their emotions.

Up–In–Out 

Remember my initial structure in the change the world school of prayer? Well for a long time after that I reacted against a set order for what to pray when.

As close as I get to a structure these days are the three words Up, In and Out.

They refer to

Up – God, worship and,

In – our inner life, and how we are with God, what he is saying to us.. and

Out – God’s kingdom in the world.

I use it more like a checklist; to make sure I have has something resembling a balanced conversation with God, not an order or timetable. If I have been praying for a while I just think those words ‘up in out’, and sometimes it challenges me to pray more outward focussed, or to worship God more, or to deal with what he is really saying to me.

As far as outward focussed prayer is concerned – prayer for situations and people where we want God’s kingdom and power to come more this is where I think different ideas really help me.

In 1 Timothy Paul says ‘The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know’

We also need to see what God is doing, and pray in line with that.

For me Outward focused prayer happens very much as I go about my life, stimulated by images, feelings, conversations, photos and landmarks.

So I have spoke a lot about our own personal journey of prayer, but how much help should we have or expect from others?

Some of the best times in my personal prayer life have been when I have met with another Christian friend perhaps every 2 weeks or so to pray for each other. The relationship has had a degree of accountability and honesty, and the question ‘what is going on with you and God?’ is often answered. I find that when I do meet like this the time I have with God on my own is often more productive. It is also when I have seen some great answers to prayer.

It is important that we talk about where we are with God with others, in a safe environment such as house group. It is OK to say what is going on in your prayer life, and we all get ‘stuck’ at times.

Sometimes knowing when we are stuck that another is praying for us and with us can be an incredible help. A few years ago I prayed regularly for someone who was finding praying difficult because they were feeling down. I was commuting to Dewsbury for Junior Doctor shifts, so was spending time in the car. I came up with the idea of praying for her every time I passed the Armley gyratory. The habit really stuck for a number of years.

However there have been times in my Christian life when church has been so great and I have neglected my own prayer life, with not brilliant consequences!

At one point in recent years when our church situation changed suddenly, I realised I had been relying on the church leader too much, and I had stopped meeting with God on my own. It was as if I was living on the high of Church, but not actually processing stuff on my own with God.

There are other reasons, changes in church, leadership, house moves when suddenly our security in hearing from God and worshipping in church are removed.

I went to a training afternoon on flu pandemics the other week. In fact all GPs and practice staff in Leeds have been offered this training over the last month. We had to role play the scenario where GP surgeries are swamped with patients with flu, pharmacies are ransacked for supplies of drugs, schools close due to lack of staff and many people are dying. How would we respond? How many face masks were we going to order? What would we do to segregate infected patients form healthy ones in surgery waiting rooms? Would we be willing to work extra to staff nights on call etc? One expert there that afternoon thought that a pandemic like that was 30% likely to happen over the next 5 years. The illness might be around in the community for 18 weeks.

After I got home, unlikely though it felt I begun to wonder what we would do as a church. Were our meetings going to be necessary? Or would we just cancel them for 18 weeks? Perhaps we would become virtual church, drop off soup to people’s houses without seeing them! However the thing that struck me as I was thinking about prayer is that our personal prayer lives would be able have to withstand 18 weeks without church!

During the ‘Toronto blessing’ in the 1990’s, a time when in many British churches there seemed to be much of God’s evident power in meetings I had a picture. At the time I saw the picture I was surrounded by people experiencing God in church, but what I saw was me lying on the floor, waiting on God at home. I felt he was saying that home is where I want to do stuff with you, to meet you, and talk to you most importantly, not Church.

So Christians help us, inspire us, pray for us, but are not a substitute for intimacy with God for us.

We need to be able to be real with God in prayer, to be honest with him. Jeff Lucas in his book on prayer has a humorous look at the prayer of Jabez, a short prayer in the Old Testament which turned into an American publishing phenomenon, all a short prayer asking God to bless us. He then talks tongue in cheek about his version, which he was going to call the prayer of Jeffrey. He says

In fact I’m thinking of writing the prayer of Jeffrey. It is too a simple prayer, but it is not based on any obscure old testament character, just my own daily experience.

The prayer of Jeffrey starts like this: “HEEEEEEEELPPPPP”

Supplicants should note that this intercessory scream is the most effective when delivered at a decibel level similar to a passing Jumbo Jet. The more frantic, the better. Part 2 goes like this: “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP”

Note the longer more fervent and indeed desperate sentiment expressed in the prayer.

Part 3 is formed in the manner of a question. Is anyone up there?

I include this sentence as this thought tends to surface most times when I pray. Prayer for me often gives birth to a sense of absurdity. The ridiculousness of an earnest, one-way conversation snaps at my heels like a tenacious puppy-dog; never really hurting me, it’s more a distraction than a menace.

OK I admit it, my prayer is not going to sell any books, be sellotaped to anyone’s fridge or sell any hot merchandise, but the sentiment is the same as Jabez – I need God. Desperately. Urgently. I want to know his smile, sense his hand and hear his voice.

So prayer we have direct access to God, it can be simple, honest and intimate.

I’ve told you a bit about my journey in prayer. But what are the next stages in developing prayer for you?

I spoke about freedom in prayer. Have you found patterns that are not constraining you, that help you to pray with both discipline and freedom?

I spoke God space – do you need to find a quiet secluded place to pray, or to be free from guilt of looking for this, and get on with praying wherever you are?

Thinking about personality do you need to find a different way to pray because of how you are wired or made?

Are you finding that prayer is easy access or not so easy access at the moment?

Is there a way of getting started that has caught your attention today?

Or a checklist like “up in out” that could help broaden your prayer?

I spoke about having help from others along the way – do you need to find a group or partnership to spur you on? 

Or do you need to stop relying on church meetings and get real with God outside of them too?

The Holy Spirit intercedes and helps us to pray, and what he wants to give us is freedom.

Freedom to pray differently – a different time or place, a different way